How to Please Your Husband

Have you ever been standing in line at the grocery store, checking out the fronts of the magazines and notice the headlines are always the same, "Monkey Boy Escapes Government Enclosure" or "Oprah Loses Weight" or "Oprah Gains Weight" or "Sexiest Man Alive." Then you see the women's magazines such as Cosmopolitan that read, "How to Make Your Man Happy" or "What He Wants In Bed." Well, as a man who has been known to be sarcastic, I've always answered these in my head when I read them in a sarcastic and simplistic thought process. "How to make your man happy?" Give him sex! "What he wants in bed?" A naked woman. Not really too difficult to figure out, huh? Very simplistic I know, but then I tend to have a smart alec comment for everything. I am smart enough to realize that sex and naked women isn't the path to happiness, despite how much some men try. How DO you please your husband? Well, as a husband, I think I can answer that. Here are some tips and advice on how to make your husband happy---of course they all things that my wife does.

• Compliment him--tell him he looks good, tell him he looks handsome, tell him he's lost weight. Have you ever noticed that if you tell a guy he looks good in something he will probably wear it again?
• Don't nag--this doesn't mean don't tell him what you would like for him to do, such as repairs, cleaning, picking-up around the house etc etc. Just don't bombard him with it. If you have to nitpick, there is a time/place for everything and the time/place probably isn't right after you have nitpicked about something else. Why shouldn't you nag?? Because a guy only has a certain threshold for nagging and then his hearing just shuts down.
• Talk to him like he's an adult and not your child. I know you may be thinking--"he certainly acts like my child." Well, he may act like a kid, he is a male after all, but he isn't. He's your husband. Treat him like he's your husband. Ask him to do things and don't demand it. Don't raise your voice automatically.
• Don't ask him to do things while he's doing something else and expect it to be done right away or that he will remember. When he's sitting down on a Sunday afternoon to watch the game is not the time to ask him to clean the toilets. Don't ask him to do something in three days and expect him to remember to do it! Ask him when he has time to do it, has a clear mind, and is able to do it right then.
• Touch him--hold his hand, hug him, cuddle with him.
• Don't complain about him to your friends/co-workers--this is your husband, remember in the Bible it talks about "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." Respect your husband enough not to relegate him to idle chit-chat around the water cooler at work. This isn't to say that you can't talk to other people about them if you are having difficulties and need to vent
• Don't constantly make him the butt of your jokes--I hate sitcoms where the husband is always made out to be a buffoon or an idiot. Sure, you can joke around but he shouldn't have to constantly suffer people laughing at him.
• Initiate things--sex is a wonderful and beautiful thing and nothing make a guy feel wanted and loved than when his spouse initiates the "marital embrace."
• Tell him that you love him--every day, every chance you get. There should be no doubt. This is a crazy, crazy world and you never know what may happen. You don't want a tragic incident to occur and to have the thought haunting you that you failed to let them know you loved them.
• Thank him for the things that he does do. It's easy to do. It's only two syllables. "Thank-you." Make him feel appreciated.

I realize that not all of these tips are applicable for everyone. Some guys don't like the physical contact and hugging. Some guys won't do anything unless they are nagged. Sometimes he does stuff that if you don't complain about him you are going to explode. But overall, they are easy thing to do. Nice simple steps because guys are simple creatures. And maybe they will learn by example and return the favor.